Blessedgirl.❤

Joy

2012-01-26T23:55:00.001+08:00

Great day!
Exhausted.

Joy

2012-01-23T20:53:00.001+08:00

Not supportive.
Totally disappointed and angry.

Joy

2012-01-17T23:59:00.001+08:00

Feeling so 'f'.
Something's bothering me, making me feel upset.
This shouldn't be the way.
Missmiss.

Joy

2012-01-16T23:57:00.001+08:00

Sometime, I really want to tellyou;
Thankyou for little darl. The second best thing I had in my life.
Hughug.

Joy

2012-01-14T23:20:00.001+08:00

I really miss my dearest, my one&only.
It's going to be days, again. Hatehate.
Really very upset too.:(
Will you be seeing this and know how I feel?
Just wantyou to be safe.
Hughug.

Joy

2012-01-11T23:43:00.001+08:00

I really miss you, my dear.
I really don't like the feeling of parting w you. I hate it when you gotta go for business trip, really.
I dontknow how it will be when oneday you gotta leave me. You mean just too much to me, I just dontknow how to put in words to let you know.

Joy

2012-01-06T02:39:00.001+08:00

It's not angry.
It's very sad.
You dont understand.

Joy

2012-01-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

Wondering. Thinking.

Joy

2012-01-03T00:43:00.001+08:00

I am craving for pizza badly.:(

Joy

2011-12-30T17:41:00.001+08:00

Missing my little darling.:)

Joy

2011-12-29T23:52:00.001+08:00

Same, never change!!

Joy

2011-12-21T17:32:00.001+08:00

Its like I dontknow what else to say anymore.
Too much disappointment.

Joy

2011-12-20T18:18:00.001+08:00

Everything is true enough.
Thank you guys, and sorry for the shouting.
'why lie to me?'

Joy

2011-12-19T18:30:00.001+08:00

Why.
Who to believe now?
I loveyou, and I believe what you say.
But now, it seems hard.

Joy

2011-12-16T01:22:00.001+08:00

I just feel super irritated.
Already feeling so f* over that issue ya, which is not me. Then everything start, like again. Stress!!
And I just want to talk to you!! I just want you to know how I am feeling. Let me talk to you, I just want to hear some heart-warming word from you. Can?
But instead we end the call with those fking conversation.
'We have not been having a really good talk since, I dontknow when.'
Dear, I really feel like, falling apart, you drawing away from me. I really dontknow what to do anymore.

Joy

2011-12-10T04:26:00.001+08:00

I know it will be empty inbox.
So, no diff.
Goodbye to my phone soon.

Joy

2011-12-10T03:52:00.001+08:00

I hope you are seeing the wrong person.
My heartbeat is racing.

Joy

2011-12-05T00:40:00.001+08:00

I suddenly got craving for breaded fish&chip and centuryegg porridge. Hahaha.

Joy

2011-11-30T14:35:00.001+08:00

Breakdown.
Really dont want to stress over those stuffs. :(:(

Joy

2011-11-26T08:04:00.001+08:00

You make me feel so disappointed.
And always lead me into thoughts.

Joy

2011-11-19T23:51:00.001+08:00

Really dont like the feeling of being left out by YOU.

Joy

2011-11-17T23:22:00.001+08:00

Okay. Recently was really pack!!!
Too many places I've wanted to go!
And ya, too much to recall.
The recent should be punggolend w DEAR.
Enjoy!!

Joy

2011-11-13T23:58:00.001+08:00

Will it still be the same?
Missyou.

Joy

2011-11-12T23:28:00.001+08:00

Angry angry angry.

Joy

2011-11-05T18:39:00.001+08:00

Really break myheart this morning.
Why say those kind of thing?:(

Joy

2011-11-04T13:57:00.002+08:00

Was really upset and disappointed lastnight.
But you make my day this morning.
I just want to be close to you at time.
:):)

Joy

2011-11-03T22:34:00.001+08:00

Not been sleeping well these few day.
:(

Joy

2011-10-31T19:19:00.001+08:00

F.
Peace, please.
Hatehate.

Joy

2011-10-29T19:31:00.001+08:00

Had a greattime lastnight.
Golf, fishing, tpool.

Joy

2011-10-26T01:13:00.003+08:00

All I ever wanted was for you know;
I missyou.

Joy

2011-10-24T23:39:00.003+08:00

Not answering my call & not calling me, what went wrong? I really dontknow.
Just want to make me feel upset, I guess.
And welldone, you did it.
Really tired of wanting to know what you do outside.
Its really enough, enough.
You dontknow the feeling of looking for someone and get no respond when you are really down.
Can I really rely on you, mydear?
Why treat me thisway?!
What you want?! Tell me!

Joy

2011-10-24T18:12:00.002+08:00

Really don't find any reason to go back home.
Everything just make me v down.
And I start hating to go back, no media too.
You simply dontknow and don't bother. I don't wish to lead this life.

Joy

2011-10-23T02:33:00.000+08:00

Can we have some 'our''s time?
When will it be just us?

Joy

2011-10-22T18:45:00.007+08:00

Upset.
What are you really doing? Don't always make me go onto thoughts can?
Upset. You seems like you are ignoring me.
All I need is some heart-warming word from you.

Joy

2011-10-18T15:44:00.000+08:00

Craving for bamboo clam.

Joy

2011-10-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

Really upset over some issue.
Utterly disappointed withyou.

Joy

2011-10-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

Ya, you are always RIGHT.
YOU can, I can't.
Thought you don't believe in this kind of thing and you always say it's rubbish? Hah, hilarious.
I really don't understand and I am really getting tired of it.
You are the one being superstition or maybe is a excuse. ?
Too much question.

Joy

2011-10-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

Tiring.

Joy

2011-10-04T23:57:00.001+08:00

Why?


Joy

2011-09-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Please don't break myheart.
Talk to me nicely.
Missyou.

Joy

2011-09-20T22:14:00.003+08:00

I really missyou, my precious.
I dont mean to leave you alone but I got no choice. How I wish I can be withyou.
Hope you will understand what I am going through. I know you will.
Lovelove.

Joy

2011-09-20T07:28:00.001+08:00

For the past oneweek, I was really happy and being myself.

Joy

2011-09-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

Please don't be naughty.
Lovelove.
And I missyou, mydear.

Joy

2011-09-10T00:22:00.001+08:00

Sudden crave for pizza&satay.

Joy

2011-09-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

Lots to post and upload.
Will missyou so much when you are away.
Looking forward to this Saturday!! Spending time together.
Craving for cake, for days.

Joy

2011-08-29T21:04:00.002+08:00


Why?

Joy

2011-08-28T02:58:00.003+08:00

F.
Can you please take your brain out and think.
Don't you know I need the toilet, ... At least help a little. Spend some time.
I need rest, but how to at such a position.
And f, so the result is so much important.
You donthave to be at the livingroom for the result.
I dontknow what the f you are thinking. Avoiding?
Dont blame me for 'sending' him away oneday.
No diff, you are not spending time with him anw.
Really tired of all this shit. Not just today, everyday!
If this is what you want then I am not going to let you take him to wherever.
And don't fight with me over this. You got no right.
Sickening.

Joy

2011-08-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

Tell me what's wrong.
Really upset lastnight.
Talk to me.

Joy

2011-08-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

My back is really pain, and my wrist.

Joy

2011-08-24T11:49:00.001+08:00

Seriously craving for oatmeal, raisin&cinnamon cookies!!

Joy

2011-08-23T15:05:00.000+08:00

Was actually still quite angry and upset w you.
Do something to make me happy instead.

Joy

2011-08-20T23:55:00.002+08:00

Total disappointment.
The one that is most dear toyou, hurt you the most always.
After a wholeday, shouldn't we be spending time together? But instead, you got your better plan. So, that is more important, I supposed.
Was not only upset, but disappointed.
Cause you don't seems to understand how I am feeling.
And ya, obviously you don't.
As time pass, I start to wonder why. Why am I treated thisway.
I will definitely not be living this life if I am not staying here.
Put yourself in my shoes, you should understand.
With your sister, you are coming back in the morning. I don't like.
And shouldnt one set himself a limit.
It's so late already. By the time she reached, you can actually be going home already.
I dontknow what you are thinking. Perhaps you love coming home at like 6, 7am. Ha.
Enjoy, have fun for all you want.
I am just like a nobody toyou, you never seems to want to hear me out.

Joy

2011-08-19T20:48:00.001+08:00

I am so damn pissed off lastnight.
That might not be wrong, but every one got their own ways of handling.
So, just let the parent do it their way.

Joy

2011-08-16T21:52:00.002+08:00

Really so happy, tired.
Everything is diff because of you, myboy.
Love!
Looking forward to this Saturday!!

Joy

2011-08-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

Yesterday morning I was really upset. Really really.
Cause you give me the feeling of, neglect.
And plus some other stuff. I am really stressedout.
What can I do?
You take the initiative to ask what happen, I wanted to tellyou but I couldn't bring it out to you.
I hope there won't be any request.
I am really hurting inside. But I couldn't and I dontwant to show out. And all I can do is to hide at a corner, drop tears.
Spending time with the dearest seems like it's not important anymore. :(:(

Joy

2011-08-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

No, I am strong.

Joy

2011-08-05T16:20:00.001+08:00

The massage was really relaxing.
But the sweat make me so not comfortable!!
I missyou, mylove.

Joy

2011-07-29T03:30:00.000+08:00

Don't like to be alone. Sigh.

Joy

2011-07-28T04:03:00.000+08:00

Finally.
And I cant sleep.

Joy

2011-07-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

Very very lazy to post..
Nothing special too..
Went to grandparent'splace yesterday, je.
Grandma birthday, then to grandparent's place, hougang.
Wentout for dinner, suck.
So bored recently.
Got very bad tummyache today, terrible.
Hope everything will be okay soon.

Joy

2011-07-23T03:05:00.002+08:00

You really got no idea that I am waiting for you.
And think of how you treat me.
I am worried too.
No call, no msg, nothing.
Should I say welldone, goodjob?
Dont do this to me, I am suffering inside.

2011-07-22T20:38:00.002+08:00

You treating me this way today make me wonder why.
And that totally hurt me. I dontknow why you got to do it this way.
And I start going into thoughts.
Your action make me feel that I am a nobody to you.
I am not going to treat you the same way as you did, and I never will.

Joy

2011-07-21T15:48:00.003+08:00

Not in good mood today.
Feeling so fk!! Then frustrated, angry.
Stress. And sian ttm.
You really dontknow those feeling, really.
Upset, disappointed.
Are you willing to listen to me?

2011-07-19T17:02:00.002+08:00

Shouldn't you be going with me to see those stuffs?
But why am I going alone or with others most of the time?
I really don't like when you ask me to go with others to see.
A little disappointed, a little upset.
Shouldn't you be with me to shop instead?
And I really want to tell you, I rather shop by myself, alone. I feel more at ease, donthave to listen so much to what others say.
But I know you won't let me shop alone.
Sometime that really piss me off.

2011-07-18T21:22:00.002+08:00

Pornography plus fb equal work stuff.
This is what make me so on fire.

Joy

2011-07-16T16:57:00.001+08:00

So happy to see your text saying about tonight dinner.:)
But, did you really mean it?
Things always change at the very last minute.
And you just called!! Dinnerout?!
Dont always make me happy for just that second.

Joy

2011-07-15T22:49:00.002+08:00

Disappointed when you tell me about tomorrow's night plan.
Can't you accompany more at this point of time?

Joy

2011-07-08T22:16:00.001+08:00

Dont lie to me.
Dont make me wait for your call and nothing happen.

Joy

2011-07-04T23:42:00.002+08:00

Lastlast Sat was going to asiagrand for timsum, then to bl and home.
Boring, always so bored.
Hmmms, Sun was going to grandparent'splace, didnt stay long, and left.
And the whole of last week was so so so sian!! Sian ttm!
Noisy, irritated, frustrated. And you know theres nothing you can do, you cant show, and you can only keep your feelings. I dont like.
Monday to Wednesday was really doing nothing much, just doing the printing of photos.
And doing some packing, and having some angry and upset feeling.
Thursday was going to grandparent'splace in the evening, hmmms, dinner...
And timsum, chaosiewbao&cheecheongfun for supper!!
Friday was going to bugis in the morning, lunch a little, buy lots of stuffs and back home.
Cheewkueh in the afternoon, fruits and stuffs, LOLs.
Dinner, photo thingy.
Meetaimak for supper, and beancurd.
Then Saturday we had Mc for breakfast!! MacDelivery. Hotcake!!
And start the photo thing, tired tired.
Birdnest.
And to heartlandmall with mum&sis.
Wentto buy some stuffs and had wantonmee!!
then home, continue the photo thing. Dinner, MacDelivery again for supper!!
Meetaimak for breakfast yesterday.
Continue the photo, mj, photo again, dinner, photo, packup and home.
And today was really very sian, dontknow what to do.
Nothing to eat when I gotup, sian.
Only had early lunch.
Airport, back, nap, dinner, tvshow, thatsall.
And I dont like this kind of life.
Should be goingout tomorrow, I supposed. But I still comfirm. Things always got changed, till the extend that I dont dare to think, dont even want to ask too much or plan.
I dontwant to ask for me, dont want to disappoint myself.

Joy

2011-06-30T22:45:00.001+08:00

Dont hurt me anymore, I dontwant.
I just wantto hug you to sleep everynight.

Joy

2011-06-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

I missyou since thatday, right after you steppedout of the house.

Joy

2011-06-25T23:26:00.005+08:00

Why do you have to say that? You know that word really, totally break myheart.
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

Joy

2011-06-23T16:31:00.003+08:00

Nothing to post and lazy to post.
Last Saturday was super sian, not really doing anything, hmmms, washcar, stay home.
And is super bored.
Sunday was going to grandparent'splace.
Monday was going to the library, reading...
Jp. Bl for dinner, home.
Tuesday was going for appt.
Then bwc for lunch and home, rest, dinner.
Yesterday was feeling so tired, dontknow why. Didnt do much thing.
Sleep at 4.30am lastnight, I couldnt sleep well. Then gotup at about 6am when the alarm ring, go back to sleep and gotup at like 7.30am.
Really so so tired!!
No appetite for lunch, had chickensoup and bread.
Should go shopping nextweek, I got a list of to-buy-list.:)
Missyoumissyou.

Joy

2011-06-20T16:18:00.002+08:00

You dontknow how I feel, totally dontknow.
Its really tiring.
Just listen to what you say, what I say is always not counted.
I dont understand why you always got to tell others, thought its suppose to be within us?
okay, whatever.

Joy

2011-06-18T16:34:00.001+08:00

F F F F F!!
TTM.

Joy

2011-06-14T18:16:00.004+08:00

I am feeling really down, the feeling of bullied and yet cant do anything.
I wantyou to know, but I coudnt, I dontknow how.
I am afraid. I dontknow if you can keep it a secret. Is not I dont trust you, now, its not about trust.
Is that I dontwant to make things difficult for you and I dontwant you to get worried, or perhaps you might think its my fault. I dontknow, I just feel really upset and a little angry.
I dont like the feeling of having to cry over issue like that but I couldnt take it, I felt bullied and I got no one to turn to. And yet, have to pretend happy and be normal.
I really hope you can see for yourself. I dontknow where you going to stand but, I am all alone here.
And I really dontwant the life here to be so suffering, I really hate and I hope I donthave to tell people that mylife now is not good at all.
I wanted to tellyou lastnight but I got the feeling that it will either be you dont believe what I say or you will make thing worst. And if that happens, life over here will be more hard for me.
I dontwant that, I already keep quiet on most thing, I dontknow what else is going to happen.
Just because I am always keeping quiet doesnt mean I am good to bully.
I stay calm is because I didnt want to make things difficult foryou. I dontwant you to feel, dontknow what to do. If not, I would have move, sometime back.
Think I should tellyou whats going on.

Joy

2011-06-13T16:19:00.002+08:00

Wentout early in the morning on Friday.
Wentover to the ICA, then grandparent'splace there for breakfast with love.
And to grandparent'splace.:)
Take a onehour nap then wentto hougangmall, lunch, shop, with mum.
Back afterthat.
Dinner, not eating much, no appetite.
Mj, home.:)
Saturday was going to woodlandscentre.
Had our lunch there too.:)
And down to tpy for the document thing.
To the bank, bread, juice... Back.
Out for dinner at like 7plus, bl.
F. A dinner also seems so difficult, I wanna have time with you alone, wont be having time withyou alone soon. But you just dont seems to understand. Was actually quite angry, irritated.
Walk around, dinner, back.
Play the morongame, hahaha. And dear wentout at like 10pm. But its okay, I got myboy with me.:):)
Sleep at prettylate, gotup at like 6am, then return to bed and gotup at 8.30am.
Of course return to bed, then gotup at like, 2pm.:):)
Lunch, watch some show, out to my parent'splace. Slack there while waiting for the rest, but I am too hungry so we wentfor dinner first.
Went cphawker, had friedhokkienmee and the kueh. Then wentfor rotiprata.:):)
Hy&Sam came and find us, and we decided not to go pub.
Change it to movie instead.
So we headdown to get the ticket instead, XMEN.
Then wentto np to walk around, sushi, herbaltea, youtiao, briyani, papadum.:):)
And movie is starting, waited for jean&co, kai&co.
Supper after movie.:)
Gotup at 8am this morning, not feelingwell.
No appetite for heavyfood.
Missyoumissyou.

Joy

2011-06-09T15:50:00.003+08:00

Cant remember everything, so much thing.
Last Saturday was like going to washcar...
Kai'splace, as usual, home at wee hour.
Sunday was going to washcar again, grandparent'splace for steamboat.:)
And tvshow...
And the following wholeweek, nothing else.
Jp on wed at night.
Receive my puzzle on Fri.
Kai'splace again on Saturday, as usual.
Wentfor dinner at 8plus, upperthomson. Some Jap Restaurant.
Sunday was going to cwp with love.
Buy slipper, shoes.
And to the nightmarket!! Happyhappy. I love going there to walk around, buy food and eat.:)
And down to ssc next, buy some stuffs. Then meetup with HY&co..
Had dinner together at sembawangrd there.
Then to the pub, didnt intend to stay till so late but ya..
And happybirthday to Jeffrey!!
Monday I wentover to np, meetup with mum&sis.
Walk around and buy stuffs, but not for myself.
Wentto mc to slack and eat a little then walk around, and to the jap foodcourt for dinner, together with love.:)
Cp afterthat and home.
Tuesday was going to kranjimrt, meetup with bro&grandma.
Then went to uncle'soffice, do some stuffs, and ya, the industrialarea.
Hmmms, really got to cut down on transport. Cab is convenience and better but I cant afford.
Went grandparent'splace next, eat, mj, dinner, home.
A little disappointed withyou, couldnt get you at all.
Staying at home the wholeday yesterday.
Had very peaceful lunch.
Today I got nothing to do. Was surfing the net recently and shop online.
Hopefully spend the weekends happily thisweek.:):)

Joy

2011-06-01T19:30:00.002+08:00

So tired recently.
Boring.
Cant stand the noise, going to exploit.

Joy

2011-05-27T17:20:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday was supersuper sian, ttm.
Endedup not going to anywhere.:(:(
And last Sunday was going down to tpy, register, wentfor lunch and ya.
Hmmms, 15thstorey!!
Went grandparent'splace afterthat, dinner, tvshow.
And this week was same...
Tiredtired.
Breakfast, nap, lunch, tvshow, stuffs.:(
But having a little exciting feeling.
I got craving for lots of thing!!
Currypuffs, especially from ock, fusilli, maggiemee, rotiprata from Ahmei'scafe, youtiao from doughculture, yoshinoya's salmonbowl, pontian wantonmee, fish&chips, carrotcake, wafflehotdog, bk's mushroomswiss, pretzel.
I wanna go nightmarket to walkwalk!!
And I really wanna go out!!:(:(

Joy

2011-05-20T20:31:00.001+08:00

I suddenly miss the home cook lunchbox so much.
Steam codfish, longbean with chilli, egg.:):)

Joy

2011-05-19T15:34:00.002+08:00

Seriously want to drink sunkist orangejuice!!
Wentover to thevillage on Tuesdaynight.
With others, had our dinner there and fishing. But nowadays I dont like the fishing thing anymore, I dont like going down. I dont like the feeling of being left alone, neglected. And it seems like I am all alone. Didnt stay till very late too.
Seems like there's alot to look into but I didnt have the chance to tellyou.
I got so much things to tellyou, but you donthave the time for me.
I seeyou everyday but, lack of communication. No time to talk.
Really tiredtired. Is not I dontwant to share my feelings withyou.
And its really suffocating when I got so much to say toyoubut I cant, and who can I turn to? My own conversation become so short too, I become like so dead. Didnt want to always call home too, they might get the wrong idea.
I am so upset but I cant do anything.
Is like being lockedup.
Always look forward to the weekends, but I just wantto spend it withyou alone, you understand?

Joy

2011-05-17T15:54:00.002+08:00

Finally blogger is done.
So nothing much recently, just feeling so sian, and is ttm.
Everyday same thing...
Thursday was going to the doctor, not much thing. Then wentfor lunch and home, take a nap, really tired.
Friday was not good. Those scary thing comeback again, and I couldnt reach you, mylove.:(
And so Saturday was going to jp at night, bk, gogofrankz, kfc...
The village next, birdpark. Fishing!! This time round was great. Home at quite early.:):)
And Sunday was going to grandparemt'splace.
Dinner, mj.
Yesterday we wentto the doctor agian, haha. Should be alright.
And headdown to ssc next, buy some stuffs, and to np for dinner.:):)
Actually a little upset cause of the loudvoice, but I am getting use to it.
Sometimes I think, you donthave to raise your voice, shouldnt you look into the matter first?

Joy

2011-05-09T18:32:00.003+08:00

Last Friday was really super down early in the morning!!
Accidentally know too much things. Saw too much things which I shouldnt be seeing.
And I did something to it which I dontknow why. Its really, ENOUGH. PLEASE.
And that totally messedup my mood.
Wentover to grandparent'splace, had lightsnacks with sis.
Then help auntie with the photoalbum thingy.
And mj, dinner.
Tvshow and stuffs, really very upset.
Wenthome at 11plus.
Saturday was going to bl, and to some other place, nearby.
Weather damndamn hot!! blendedice!!
Carwash, macaroni.:)
Home, washup, prepare and to westmall.
And get my iphone!! Thankyou, DEAR~~.:)
Currypuffs&carrotcake.
Headdown to hilltop for the wedding dinner.
And home afterthat, so tired and bored.
Do the iphone thing, see news and sleep at about 3am.
Yesterday was great!!
We wentto IMM and finally gotto eat Ahmei'scafe's rotiprata.:)
Then to DAISO, shopping and to bl. The hpaccessories shop, market for dessert and fairprice, then back home.

Joy

2011-05-04T17:54:00.003+08:00

Wentover to malaysia in the afternoon last Friday, with Kai.
Wentover to the office, then to friend's house.
Emmm, gathering.
Saturday was going to kitchenerrd for dinner with Uncletao&co..
Then we wentto Uncletao'splace for gathering.
Wine.
Home at supersuper late!! Very bad for littleboy's health!!
Sunday was so so tired. Sleep for just few hours. Force myself to wakeup, wentover to grandparent'splace for gathering and board the bus!! Yeah.
Wentover to Macpherson first to fetch the rest and we went to Kukup.
Greatgreat.
Reach there, food, ferry, the resort.
Just slack there, dinner.
Firework, firecracker. Mj.
Was actually veryvery upset over some issues.:(:(
But I supposed you wont bother. And I just got to keep to myself.
And Monday was wakingup at 10plus, so sleepy but didnt wantto waste time sleeping, haha.
Washup and had breakfast.
Nasilemak, wantonnoodles, youtiao, soyamilk, fishporridge.:):)
Enjoying my breakfast with mylove, both.:P
Hmmms, mj, lunch, shower, packup, get ready, karaoke, and byebye.
The journey back was very fast.
Dropoff at grandparent'splace, wentup awhile and dinner!!
Yeah, chickenwings, fish and chips, blackpeppercrab and others!!
Went jp yesterday with dear.
Bank, buy stuff, movie.
THOR.
Bl for dinner, laksa, friedkuaytiao, hokkienmee.
I love to eat those junkjunk food nowadays, LOLs.
Home today, I am now at home, just had maggiemee.:):)
Watching tvshow now, yeah so happy.
Happy over the hdb thingy.
Satisfied my crave.:):)
Left with AhMei's Cafe rotiprata, Mc's Hashbrown, Koi's bubbletea, youtiao.:):)
But I know I will be having my Ahmei prata this sunday!! And Koi's bubbletea soon too.
Youtiao maybe later.:):)
Mc's hashbrown seems a little hard cause its only available during breakfasttime.

Joy

2011-04-27T18:00:00.003+08:00

Wentover to Kai'splace on Thursday night.
Hmmms, watch the show!!
Breakfast with family on Friday at amk, timsum.
Grandparent'splace next, mj, out at the evening to buy roastmeat&duck.
Dinner, home to washup and jp for movie!! arthur.
Saturday was going to ubi area, car workshop...
Cp next. Youtiao, sushi, bk...
Grandparent'splace next, slack.
Home and rest and mylove wentout.
Sunday was going over to bedok, lsuncle there then wentoff to auntiecarol'shouse.
Had our dinner there, home at about 11.
Seems like a long weekends, and again nextweek.:)
Wentto open letterbox, pack beancurd&youtiao then home.:)
Mondaynight was really damn peace, which is a good thing to me!!
Yesterday was still okay, didnt do much thing.
Really tired wakingup early everyday.
Today as usual, had breakfast and do some stuffs, then lunch, people come and service aircon, watch tvshow, outto bl to buy groceries.
And ya, I broke a glass justnow.:(:(

Joy

2011-04-26T19:47:00.000+08:00

Waiting foryou.:)

Joy

2011-04-25T18:51:00.003+08:00

Really dont like the feeling of cant do things.
Stay in the room and do nothing, livingroom also do nothing.
So hard to watch a tvshow, cause its always occupied.
And nothing you can do.
Feeling so f.
And thats why I didnt want to stay in the livingroom, cause I got nothing to do.
Use laptop in the room, people want to disturb. No peace.
And I use to watch show anytime I want, any channel.

Joy

2011-04-21T20:05:00.002+08:00

I feeling like eating lots of things.
Bk's chicken tender, sushi, youtiao, Mc's hashbrown, fish&chips, noodles, wafflehotdogs, rotiprata.

Joy

2011-04-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

And I am craving for Ahmei Cafe's rotiprata!!

Joy

2011-04-20T16:25:00.002+08:00

Monday was feeling upset and down.
I really couldnt let go, especially seeing those stuffs.
And I ask myself, shouldnt I be living a happylife now?
Bored, bored.
Got to pay those bills SOON. And I doesnt have income now. Its really tiring.
Went shengsiong at night with dear to buy some stuffs.
Yesterday was going to grandparent'splace in the afternoon as I dontwant to stay home. Prevent myself from getting misunderstand. Really damn sickening. I dont like the feeling.
Others, I dont care. But you feel the same too, and that really hurt me.
Over at grandparent'splace was extremely relaxing. Watch show, do whatever I want.
At least I am much more happy.
Dear came over and it actually make me so happy, happy seeing him.
Dinner afterthat, tvshow, relax, mj, home.

Joy

2011-04-19T16:27:00.003+08:00

So I am the bully kind, your words this morning actually hurt me.
'I wanted to say, actually I mind. I mind all those things. And for now I dontwant to bring it up cause nothing will change, I know.
But it actually affected me alot alot. And because I cared, thats why. And yes, I dont like the feeling of like sharing you. And I am having this feeling, but you will never know.
It really hurt me so much that I always have to tell myself not to think, not to let it bother me. Its really so tired to droptears over things that no ones know, and I hope no one knows too. You, especially.
Love me back, the one thing I ask from you. I dont blame you cause I supposed you dontknow what kind of love I want.'
Very bad mood yesterday and today. The upset kind, not angry.
Totally upset over those issues.
And I still got to tell myself I have to smile.

Joy

2011-04-18T17:29:00.005+08:00

Last Friday was really happy. Hahas.
Mydear finally agreed to bring me to prawn fishing!! So we went to juronghills at 10plus, but prawn fishing is like so bored over there. So after like 2hours, we decides to start the fishing.:):)
And ya, that was much more fun&exciting. Greatgreat. And of course I had a greattime over there, with mydear. We wentoff at emmm, 4plus in the morning.
Saturday wasnt going anywhere in the day, was going to bukitbatok ya, the car workshop and back.
Then we wentover to juronghills again. Meetup with some others over there too and, fishing!!
Wentoff at prettylate again. Like 3plus or 4plus. Had a goodtime but tiring!!
Wentover to grandparent'splace yesterday. Mj, dinner, mj. Hahas. Supposed to be going for supper but in the end, not going.:(:(
Hmmms, so, ya. Thats all.
Today is like, hmmms, another day's gone.
Just waiting foryou to comeback.

Joy

2011-04-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

Very uncomfortable feeling.

Joy

2011-04-14T17:11:00.006+08:00

The feeling of wanting to scream!!
Wentfor breakfast last Wednesday.
Then went around, dontknow where.
Back home, hmmms, jp at night for collection of ring.
Staying at home doing some typing, ya.
Wentfor latenight movie on Fridaynight.
Watch HALLPASS. Great&nice show, haha. And we to fairprice to get some stuffs then back home.
Saturday was super tired. Went car wash with mylove, but I am not doing the washing, Lols.
Afterthat we back to washup and headdown to khatib, then 925 for dinner and khatib, meetup with the rest there. Initial plan was to go fishing but because of the weather, we didnt went.
Emmm, went to Kai's place, like again, haha. And all of us just stay there cause we got no place to go.
And we watch some watch-it-first show there, then at the same time, decides to go for movie.
We went for movie again, ya. Latenight again, watch Let the Bullets Fly.
Home after movie, tiredtired.
Sunday was so sian. Not doing anything, and was damn pissedoff. But ya.
Okay, grandparent'splace at night.
Dinner, mj.
Monday was going for appt, hmmms. Home afterthat, lunch and rest.
Super bored life, terrible feeling.
Tuesday was also doing nothing, sleep for like dontknow how many hours cause I got nothing to do, and I dont feel well.
Life now is like, wakeup, breakfast, sleep, lunch, slack/find things to do, dinner, wait for you to be back..ya.
Yesterday was also the same thing. But went shengsiong at night with love to get some fruits.
Today was doing nothing special, as usual, my daily routine.

Joy

2011-04-12T18:05:00.000+08:00

You always don't remember cause you don't seems to care.

Joy

2011-04-05T23:26:00.001+08:00

Nothing much for me to post. Let me recall.
Hnmms, last Wednesday meetup with dad for dinner at beisheng.
Thursday was going over to jp. Meetup with parent and sis&ken for dinner at crystaljade. Then wentto fairprice and back home.:)
Last Friday was goingout at night with mydearest. Wentto farmart and meetup with the others and had late dinner, early supper.:)
Saturday was going over to Kai's place at night, wentout for dinner then stay at his house to watch show while dear wentdown to do the car thing. Hmmms left at super late.
Sunday was going to autobacs. Surprisingly. And ya, I never thought I will still go. Hmmms, went to btpanjang next, buy fruits.:):)
And wentover to grandparent'splace. Mj for awhile, dinner, slack, off.
Yesterday nothing much, just as per normal. Sleep at 3am lastnight and I gotup at 4am this morning. Really really tired. Had breakfast at about 7am. Then do some stuffs and take a nap at about 1pm, and f the sk guy. Call me to remind me for collection, and I am damn tired. Then dbs call regarding the card. Hmmms, lunch, dinner, tvshow.
Looking forward to seeyou.:)

Joy

2011-03-30T15:35:00.005+08:00

Life these days are really hard. Staying at home almost everyday. For the past week, I wasn't doing any thing special. Last Wednesday was going to bugis, meetup with mummy. And ya, had a hard and terrible time travelling. Went shopping, buy some clothing. Hmmms, wentto slack and down to goldenmile for the chickenrice steamboat. meetup with mydear there. Thursday was having youtiao, breakfast.:) And watching show like the wholeday. Friday was going to the eys doctor for consultation, medicine is terrible. Saturday was going to boonlay, the dental then to farmart and to grandparent'splace. Went ktv at night with mummy&co. Didn't stay long, then we went for supper and back. Sunday was going to woodlands industrial first then to myhouse and down to grandparent'splace. Stay there and relax, then wentover to auntiecarol'splace. Had our dinner there, relaxing and home. Monday was doing to hdb, iras, bill… Wanted to go nightmarket but in the end didn't went.:( Hmmms, yesterday was also the same.. Watch show, rest and nothing else. Dinner, fruits, tvshow. Went jp at night with dearest. Had subway.:) Pack sushi back home.:) I love when you are withme.

Joy

2011-03-22T22:05:00.001+08:00

Very bad nightmare lastnight.

Joy

2011-03-21T18:53:00.000+08:00

And so Thursday was heading down to kk with dear for bloodtest.
Then to Jolyn's family chalet.
Hahas.
Greatgreat.
Dear was there doing the bbq stuffs, hahas. And we just sit and eat, LOLs.
Great gathering anyway. Too much food!!
Left afterthat.
Friday was staying at home doing nothing also, hmmms, so packing ya..
Surf net, more to explore this time with the facebook.
Saturday was going to dear's grandma place then back to myhouse and to auntiecarol'splace for dinner, gathering.:)
Left at really late.
Yesterday was going to geylang together with auntiecarol&uncle.
Hmmms, then to hougangmall for the ring thing. And to pepperlunch for dinner.:)
Then to grandparent'splace. Nothing much.
Staying home today, doing some research thing. Feeling so bored, really.